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NEWSLETTER

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

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12.03.2013 - Mayyit of: Abdul Cassim - VENUE: 44 Plover Street Ext 1 Lenasia - TIME: 14h30 - QABARSTAAN: Lenasia

As our children reach adolescence, they begin to question what they have been taught, especially if most of the youth they associate with are non-Muslims, or non-practicing Muslims.

If you have already established a positive relationship with your youth, then your teenage child will come to you with his/her questions and concerns. Do not mistake these questions and worries as a rebellion against you or against their religion. They see the kids at school dating, and it looks like fun. 'Why shouldn't we date?' they wonder. Be happy that your youth feels comfortable coming to you with these issues.

If you have not established a positive relationship with your child by this time, you will probably have a big problem on your hands, because your youth will have the same questions, but he won't come to you for a discussion about them. He will be seeking his answers from his friends, and if his friends are not actively practicing Muslims, he may be getting answers that go against Islam.

Why do some parents and youth have a positive relationship and others do not? There are at least two important factors here: time and what kind of time? Did the parents spend time with their children as they were growing up? Did they make a practice of asking their children about their school, their friends, and their opinions on various things, and then LISTEN to their answers?

Remember positive reinforcement? What kind of time do the parents spend with their children? Is it based on positive reinforcement, or does the child expects to hear angry and negative comments every time he/she tries to talk to a parent?

EXAMPLE:

Thirteen year Omar is fasting for his second year, during Ramadan. One Saturday he and another Muslim, Adnan, go to a non-Muslim friend's house to play. At one o'clock, Omar phones home to tell his mother, “Johnny keeps asking us to eat lunch. We told him we're fasting and he should go ahead, but he says if we don't eat, he won't either. Adnan says if I break my fast, he will too. What should I do?"

"I can't believe you're asking me that," complains his mother. "Allah is going to punish you if you don't fast! You know better than that? Why can't you act like a good Muslim? Your father and I have taught you better than that!"

How often will Omar asks his mother any questions after a response like that? By assuming that his behaviour is negative and giving negative reinforcement, you can be sure that Omar is not likely to ask his mother for help again. Instead, imagine if his mother answered this way:

"You did the right thing by phoning when you weren't sure. But I think you already know what you should do. What do you think is the right thing to do?"

Omar answers, "I think I should say no, I'm going to keep fasting."

"You are exactly right," answers his mother. "I'm so proud of you for the way you are thinking."

~ Freda Shamma PhD ~

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Method
 Combine the first 9 ingredients together, mix thoroughly
 Shape into croquettes (long finger shapes), placing cheese in the center
 Combine the flour, salt and chillies together. Coat croquettes in this mixture
 Dip in egg and breadcrumbs
 Freeze and fry when required
 Deep-fry until golden all round

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